You asked God for what?!!

(a true short story)

I am the youngest of five children who lived in a very small town. Our parents were strict which meant we didn’t get to do a lot of socializing outside of the house except at school. Growing up, I was very skinny and somewhat timid. I had a group of four close friends since elementary school.

Starting Out Wrong

One of the first things I notice as a small child is that, for some reason, I didn’t get a lot of attention from boys. In the first grade (yes first grade lol), boys who were not the most good looking or popular would be attracted to me. I hated that! Other girls were liked by the good-looking boys. This had an immediate effect on my self-esteem. It made me feel that I wasn’t pretty enough or good enough to have someone good looking to like me. I felt rejected and unlovable.

Forest for the Trees

Apparently, I wasn’t strong enough to just shrug it off and pay no attention to it. This kind of thing followed me from elementary school and into high school. There were times that when I pondered it, I was baffled by it.

See Me? I’m Pretty

I, actually, thought I was pretty but didn’t know why boys didn’t see it. To top this off, my mother (bless her heart) would often tell me how pretty I was. This made things more confusing for me. You see, I didn’t need her validation that I was pretty. I needed boys to see me as pretty because my friends always had boyfriends of which I couldn’t seem to even buy one if I wanted to. For some reason, I equated my self-esteem to whether I was liked by boys; good looking boys.

Getting Tired Now

With this unappealing view of myself, I allowed myself to settle for boys who I didn’t really like or boys who were good looking but didn’t want me as their girlfriend and just only wanted to use me. So, at some point, I just became frustrated and somewhat sad and lonely. Then, one day I felt like I’d had enough of it!

Good Foundation

My parents always took us to church every Sunday without fail. I honestly do not remember missing church my whole childhood but two times; one time to be a bridesmaid in someone’s wedding and one time because I was really sick. We were taught about God and prayer quite a bit. In church, we sang songs about God answering prayer.

Role Models

Each night my mom and dad would kneel beside their bed to pray before turning in for the night. We were also taught to do the same thing. Every Christmas, before we went to open our presents, our dad required us to kneel by our bed and pray first. As you can see, prayer was a very big part of our lives.

Time to Act

Now, back to the boyfriend thing. As I said I had gotten tired of the rejection and made up my mind to do something about it. I decided to ask God for a boyfriend. At the time, I was 16 years old. School had just begun in September. We were not taught to pray throughout the day; only at night before going to bed and as soon as we got up in the morning. So, while at school one day, I made this prayer decision but had to wait till I got home and time to go to bed to pray.

Be Specific

So, now it’s bedtime and I was so excited because I knew I was about to get some help for this boyfriend problem. I got down on my knees and asked God to send me a boyfriend; one who loves me as much as I love him. I also asked for one who wasn’t ashamed to be with me and I wasn’t ashamed to be with him. You see, the boys who I settled for, I didn’t really want to be seen with and the boys who I liked didn’t want to claim me as their girlfriend in public either. So, I told God, that I was tired of things being unequal. Then, I told Him that I was going to pray this prayer every night until He sent him to me. I did exactly that! However, one night I had gotten into bed and remembered that I didn’t pray the prayer. I got up and asked God again.

Too Much Information?

Now, this part may bother some of you. But you have to remember, I’m 16. I wanted God to know that I wasn’t going to be a little “saintly girl” when I got this boyfriend. I really wanted to be honest with Him. I told Him that I was going to allow this boy to French kiss me and we were going to “neck”. Depending on how old you are or what part of the world you’re from, you may not know what that means. Essentially, it just means that we were going to “fool around”. I’m not talking about going as far as having sex, ok? I didn’t want to leave this part out because it’s necessary to show how this story ends. So, if you’re offended, I’m very sorry.

Here Comes the Sun

Now, it had been about a good month since I began praying about this. One day, I was waiting for my school bus to come after school.. There were girls standing away from me talking. Then, this boy came outside and walked up to me. He spoke and asked me my name. I told him and then I asked him his name.

You’re Talking to Me?

He, then, asked me this question that blew me away. He said, “who’s loving you?” (title of one of the Jackson 5 songs). I asked him why he wanted to know. He said he was asking because he wants to know if I would be his girlfriend. Now, my heart nearly jumped out of my chest because he was so “fine”; (kind of a James Dean look) and because he was asking me to be his girl.

Over the Moon

I told him I’d seen him with another girl and I thought she was his girl. When I’d seen him with this girl before, I even asked myself, how did she get him because I thought I was prettier than her (remember I was 16 ok?). He said that they had broken up. I tried to play it cool. I told him I had to think about it. He said that he would come back the next day to get my answer. When he walked away, my heart was racing and I wanted to scream! I couldn’t believe it! When I got home, I was ecstatic! I called my best friend and told her what happened. I could hardly focus the whole evening. But, I was somewhat scared that he may change his mind and not come back.

It’s My Time

The next day at school, I was anxious and excited all day. As I stood waiting after school for my bus, I didn’t want to get my hopes up so I intentionally didn’t keep looking back at the door he’d walked out of the day before. I waited and waited. Then all of a sudden, he came out of the door and oh my gosh! I was so happy but, didn’t dare show it. He came to me and asked me if I’d thought about being his girlfriend. I told him I had and then he wanted to know my answer, I told him I would be his girlfriend. The rest of that moment was and still is a blur. I floated the rest of the evening. I probably didn’t even need to ride the bus because I was on cloud 9.

This Is Not a Dream

Now, I must tell you that this guy was one of the best things that ever happen to me. He walked me to my classes with his arm around my waist. He gave me a little kiss (in front of everyone) before he walked away. He was my first love and high school sweetheart. I was in the 12th grade. He was in the 11th grade. I felt special when I was with him and when I was not. We went to my Senior prom together.

The Past Lurking

Even two of the boys who had dogged me out previously came to me one day and asked if I was dating this boy. I think they were surprised that I could actually have someone to actually love me. They knew I was timid and had low self-esteem. I politely (not really) told them in a few words that I won’t put in this story to get lost! They were shocked because they knew that I’d moved on never to put up with the way they had treated me before. It felt good!

Did I Do That?

Now the strange part of this story is that at the time, I didn’t even acknowledge that this was God’s answered prayer (just young and dumb lol). I thought about it years later and I told God that I was sorry for not thanking Him for sending me my boyfriend. He answered my prayer specifically because this young man loved me just as much as I loved him. He was never ashamed of me. It changed my life!

Prepared for Future Trouble

That experience always comes to my mind when I’m faced with a problem that is more than I can handle. It reminds me to just have faith in God. If He’ll give me a boyfriend at 16 (which clearly, I didn’t need one), surely, He’ll help me with all of my problems that are much more serious. And you know what? He most definitely has!! On top of all that, it showed me God himself is the best boyfriend ever! He loves me “more” than I love Him and He’s never ashamed of me!

Copyright Jacquelyn Lott “All Rights Reserved”